Reflection time again 2020

Rituals add meaning to the randomness we call life. One of my personal rituals is writing of a yearly summary, focusing on the things I can recall from the last 12 months. Here are my reflections from 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, etc.

This was a year just like another… Probably no one would say that about 2020.

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A year when I have learned some new emotions and feelings. For example the lightness of having less plans paired with deep existential angst. Or the menacing presence of any random stranger standing in an elevator next to us. The mix of a schadenfreude and sadness when reading about the infection situation around the world. The strong trust in the power of science battling my paranoia about the intentions of the state actors.

We traveled to Rome in the early January for a few days. The mood of the city was strange and sometimes uncanny, but it was still an amazing experience. Returning to Pantheon every day, listening to the evening song at the Giardino degli Aranci, watching the full moon from Aventine hill, exploring secret bars and gay cabarets of Pigneto, walking through the Villa Borghese park at 6am in the morning, having a true grande bellezza experience.

First Lockdown in Berlin, I remember the calm on the streets and a super bright Venus in the evening sky. Cooking simple food and working at my desk.

In the spring We walked along the long row of lilac bushes along the train tracks, breathing in the intoxicating smell, enjoying every minute of the time outside our home.

In January, I decided to finish my first book but I wasnt sure if I’ll have enough time in the upcoming months. I had enough. Publishing book seems to be a much more involved act than I anticipated but also a very interesting learning. The Joy of Electronic Music saw the light in May. It found readers in Germany, UK, France, Italy, US and Lithuania. I almost forgot to celebrate the fact but thanks to my friends they reminded how important is to make a mark about the first time. I got interviewed by Electronic Beats.

I remember dancing at Berghain in February, unaware on that it will take a long time until we all get back within those sweaty walls. I remember the closed eyes of the fellow dancers, their voices in between the beats, hours of rollercoaster beats takings us up and down the emotional ladder. But wasn’t my last dance this year. When we landed in Lithuania in July, the country looked almost like in the 2019, pre-pandemic times. I remember the exceptional mood at the Vayus festival in Palanga, hands in the air, sun beams shining through the trees. And dancing at our friends wedding in the Lithuanian woods until the dawn. The next dance at the Else club in September was different, FJAAK and Miss Kitten were playing, we had people in masks around us, searching for the eye contact, raising their hands into the air.

There were months when I was reading news dozens times a day and there were months where I cut myself off from the new cycle completely.

I read just a few books but those were books worth reading. Anna Karenina and War and Peace. I remember talking with Dalia about the ideas that we discovered in those books. I started reading the books of W. G. Sebald, immersing myself into the sea of his seemingly endless knowledge. I read good comics, Hellblazer and Bechdel.

I got my first tattoo. I might get more.

Every visited gallery and museum were precious this year. I saw some memorable photography by Sven Marquardt and Wolfgang Tillmans. I took our kids to the museum of magic, the spy museum, to the Boros Collection and the Berlin TV tower, and I’ve enjoyed all those places immensely myself. I’ll remember the exhibitions of Thomas Saraceno, Norbert Bisky, Tom of Finland, Otobong Nkanga and Umashankar Manthravadi.

Maybe there wasn’t so much dancing in 2020, but there was music. Every month I recorded a new DJ mix, collecting my favorite tracks of the moment and past classics. Some make me cringe, some take to the places I long to be. During those 12 months I’ve discovered how I could express my intentions and ideas not only through selection of the songs but how those songs are played. I had my first gig in my hometown Klaipeda in 21 years. My old friends DJ Crembo and Digital came over to support me, it felt like we haven’t seen each other just for a few weeks.

We listened to a secret string quartet performing in an abandoned factory, surrounded by fantastic transformable sculptures.

We got an electric piano, the whole family seems to find their relationship with this black-and-white object. I remember improvising slowly with my younger daughter, just pushing random white keys and listening to the magic of music being born in our ears. I’ve got a TB-303 clone for the home, a simple toy that can make people dance.

We gathered apples more than we could carry, and boxes of pears and baskets full of walnuts. We’ve paddled through the twisting river of Minija, away from the world for a day.

I’ve got a hanging mat as a present, it’s an amazing invention. I smoked dozens of interesting cigars, noting my favorites and the ones I’ll never buy again. Discovering my own taste in the handmade smoke.

We’ve visited an abandoned military airport with our kids, and we got caught by the guards eventually. It was totally worth it.

I wrote a lot of code this year, much more than in the previous years. More JavaScript and more React and React Native and Swift and I learned powerful new tools. I’ve built something for Samsung, and I’ve built something for Skill Yoga. I have coached product teams and startups. I’ve learned a lot by teaching others.

I remember walking 25 kilometers on the beach from Kaipeda to Palanga. We started in the evening, and we went on gathering little pebbles, swimming in the sea and even finding tiny bits of amber washed out in the sand. The full moon was shining in the sky behind us, painting long surrealistic shadows of us on the beach.

I saw how important friends are for me. The remarkable moments we shared at our home and outside. They will stay in my memory forever more than any other year.

Our girls were growing up in 2020 like all the other kids, with masked teachers and masked friends. The elder daughter’s school notes have improved during remote learning, she’s super happy with the online school, who could have thought. The little one has started school this year. Our cat grew into a dangerous animal, proudly bringing mice and birds back home for us to admire. If she could tell her adventure it would make a remarkable book.

Second lockdown and Jupiter and Saturn in the sky. The slow down and darkness.

When I look at all my photos from 2020, when I remember the little beautiful moments, it looks as if it was quite a remarkable year indeed.
Thank you 2020.